The dream of someone else

September 16, 2018

ONE of my favorite movie scenes is this one from You Got Mail. Meg Ryan’s character had just broken up with her boyfriend (no, not Tom Hanks. Greg Kinnear). The guy asked “What about you? Is there someone else?” Meg replied wistfully, “No, no... but there is the dream of someone else.”

We all have dreams of “someone else.” For the single, this is the dream of being happily married. Yet many singles wait, but no prospect is looming in the horizon. Or they pine for someone who doesn’t give us the time of day.

What can such singles do in this “meantime” stage? We can learn a lot from how God brought Eve to Adam. When God created the heavens and the earth, He created man first. In everything else He created, God declared them to be “very good.” Yet He looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” This gives us the first comfort for those who are loveless.

God sees our need before we do. He saw Adam’s need, most likely even before the man did. We may fret that God is blind and insensitive to our longing to get married. Yet many times we don’t even know what we want. But we must trust God sees our needs infinitely better than we do. Millennia later, His own Son assures us that the Father “knows what you need before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:8).

When God sees the need, He provides for it in the best way. God not only passively sees the need, He takes measures to fill it. After declaring, “It is not good for the man to be alone,” He adds, “I will make a helper suitable for him.” That helper was Eve. No, not like a maid. The word “helper” carries the image of reinforcements to aid a besieged army. Thus, we must trust that He can meet that need better than we ever can. Many times we’d settle for whoever is available, even though the other person is clearly not suitable for us or not meant for us!

God may be filling that need without us knowing it. Have you noticed that God put Adam to sleep while He created Eve? Many times He prepares for our need, but secretly and out of sight. Invisibility does not mean inactivity. But God didn’t just create the woman. He takes one more step...

When God provides the need, He makes sure to bring the provision to us. God had fashioned Eve from the man’s rib. But this would be been senseless had God put Eve on a remote side of the garden and left it for the two to stumble into one another. Rather “...and He brought her to the man.”

In the meantime, God may want us to be productive. Notice there was a gap between the time God’s verdict that it was not good for Adam to be alone and the time He brought the woman to him. What happened in between was that God told Adam to name the animals. Perhaps He was making Adam aware of the need for a female counterpart. The important thing was that Adam obeyed.

What are those things God want you to do before He (if it is His will) finally blesses you with a spouse? Is it to build your character? Become financially stable? Be an excellent worker? Find satisfaction in God alone such that when He finally gives you that spouse, it will come as a joyous bonus.

Do you know what? I bet our dreams of someone else are too small. God has bigger dreams for us and, if so, He will send a person more wonderful than we ever dreamed of.

Today is the last day of the 39th Manila International Book Fair

Check out my latest book, Soaring High: Your Flight Plan for Your Best Career Ever, at the CSM booth numbers 71-76, between aisles P and Q. The book is packed with practical wisdom on how to choose your career, get hired ASAP, move ahead quickly, overcome boredom, survive a horrible boss, deal with difficult co-workers, balance work and love life, keep your integrity … and more!

For more insights, check out my Author’s Page