I won’t be at your wedding

January 22, 2019

Dearest BFF,

I won’t be at your wedding. Three-dimensionally, that is.

But whether you approve of it or not, I will be there spiritually and emotionally.


We’ve been through a lot of crime and grime. We’ve also stood by each other’s ups and downs, and boy, by each other’s men,  heartaches and “heartjoys.”

We click because we understand each other when the rest of the world can’t and won’t.

Stubbornness just enjoys binding us.

We  have never judged each other for all the decisions we have made and fought for, no matter how delightfully wrong they were.

Looking back, maybe that’s why both of us always had the raw gall to jump into life’s ravines and quick sands. For we both know there is constantly that one person who would stand by the recklessness -- ready to cushion a bad fall or cry in a silent duet along with the pain.

We don’t finish each other’s sentences. But we finish each other’s deepest thoughts and dreams.

Not like during our youthful years, our now complicated lives have physically barricaded us from meeting up, whenever, wherever.

But our deep friendship has remained  -- amid toxic schedules, fake chums and harried lifestyles.  And I intend to let it last beyond our lifetimes.

I won’t be at your wedding.  Life’s complications just won’t allow me to. Ironically, this is just one ‘crime’ I can’t pull off with you. There is comedy in our mini-tragedy. I think karma finally caught up with us.

I won’t be at your wedding. And  I know that you know I can’t apologize for my painful but deeply-pondered choice.

However, for my absence, all I can offer is a soul-felt prayer:

May our tandem prevail beyond your walk on the aisle, much further than your blessed new beginning and ‘til eternity. I promise to remain the unofficial member of your family who will  prod you to do  when the universe says don’t, genuinely cheer you amid the backstabbing jeers as well as false smiles and simply be there always, albeit not physically, but in my trademark lighthearted ways.

I won’t be at your wedding.

But I will be there -- pardon the overused excuse -- in spirit, shedding tears of glee with your every step towards that eternal love, joy and peace we just used to dream of, cry over and imagine.

As always, I will also be there to be your cushion and your life’s duet on call whenever, wherever you need it.


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